Well, I know cute when I see it. This one is more like electrocute. I've groaned at it since I was twelve years old, when I picked up this gem from my electronics teacher. (It will take too long to explain why our school thought twelve-year-olds should learn electronics.) I remember having trouble telling which B was which. Not to mention the confusion about whether the second G was grey or gold. About time, therefore, to abandon this silly hack in favour of a few seconds of reflection.

White reflects everything, and black reflects nothing. Only fair to give 9 for white and 0 for black. Grey is almost white, so 8, and brown is almost black, so 1. The six colours of the rainbow -- violet, blue, green, yellow, orange and red -- take positions 7 through 2 and coexist peacefully ever after. Simplicity itself.

In case anyone is confused, the rainbow has six colours, not seven. Pink Floyd ought to know. What in the world is indigo, anyway? The Great Mnemonic Syndicate could use a second vowel, and had the usual mystical bias against even numbers, perfect or not. So much for that. Not sure what the moral is.